Calling out the Princess.

The other day a lady told me a random little story about some people she knew. There was this little girl that, right from birth, was told she was a princess. By the time she got to kindergarten, she went around the classroom telling everyone that she was a princess. I thought the story was really cute. The lady telling me the story seemed a little bit apalled that this little girl had the audacity to call herself a princess.

I started thinking about that. Why would a little story like that invoke two different responses? I think the problem lies in the definition of "princess". Maybe not even the definition, but the connotation. The pictures that the word "princess" paints.

When this lady thinks "princess", I bet she thinks spoiled little rich girl who has been given everything she has ever wanted. This princess expects those around her to stroke her ego, tell her how great she is, give in to every little whim, and never challenge the character of the princess, as, of course, this princess is perfect. Examples of these kinds of "princesses" would be the evil stepsisters in Cinderella, the Wicked Witch in Wizard of Oz, the White Witch in Narnia, Sharpay Evans in High School Musical, Josie Pye in Anne of Green Gables, etc, etc. These girls all thought they were something special, and demanded the recognition of princess. That made them ugly.

When I think "princess", I think about those girls who have integrity and characteristics that make them beautiful. These are girls who don't need a title; who would serve and love and behave like ladies rather than stand in the spotlight, demanding respect. Cinderella was gentle with the birds and mice, making her a princess. Belle looked for the beauty even in something ugly and that made her a princess. It's not the title, it's the character inside the girl that creates the princess.

There's a book called A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett. It's been a while since I've read it, so I apologize for any inaccuracies. The story is about this daughter (Sara Crewe) of a wealthy man who is sent away to boarding school for her safety. This little princess is treated very well as the woman who runs the school knows that Sara has a rich father. One day, Sara is informed that her father has died. Suddenly, Sara is declared not to be a little princess, and therefore, has everything taken away from her. Instead of a student, she becomes slave to the headmistress. The few dresses she is allowed to keep get dirty and torn as she scrubs the floors and chimneys. Sara isn't even fed properly. I remember one part where she is so hungry, she stands outside a bakery desperate even for a crust of bread. As she is no longer a student, she is forced to wait on the other girls, who in turn shun her for her poverty.

Through all of this however, Sara maintains the same personality she always had. Kind, gentle, honest. Inside her heart, she is still the princess she remembers her father calling her.

That's the kind of princess I want my daughter to be. I want her to grow up hearing everyday that she is a princess. She will be taught that princesses clean bathrooms, empty garbages, wash dishes. She will be taught that princesses share their toys, spend their money to buy gifts for others, and smile at the homeless man as she walks by. She will learn that princesses don't always get their own way and that even princesses get spanked.

However, as she's learning the hard parts about being a princess, she will also learn that princesses are valuable. They are loved. They are beautiful. They are special and important. She will be told that all princesses need a prince, and if she watches and waits for him, he'll come riding up on a white horse to take her to her own castle (only after asking permission from the king and performing dangerous feats involving dragons and fire to prove his worth).

There is an old Russian proverb that says: "Call to the Princess and she will answer." As my daughter is learning what a Princess is, we will call to her. We will call out the very things we are teaching her. As we do that, I believe she will answer. With her cute little smile and big blue eyes and crazy curly blonde hair, she will walk into kindergarten telling the others that she is a princess. And then she will call out to the other princesses around her and they will giggle as they discover this great secret.

"Princess Lucy"