Well-formed love

I have a confession to make. I am scared of teenagers. Always have been. Never mind the fact that I'm like, at least 10 years older than a lot of them. I'm not entirely sure where this came from. I remember one day when I was about 12 years old, my sister and I were in a store close to a high school. This distraught teenage girl came running in, crying. She was freaking out, shouting, "They are trying to set my hair on fire!" I don't remember what happened after that, or even what really was going on. In my head, it was probably a bunch of mean and tough high school kids who were picking on this girl. After that, I always wondered what I would do if someone set my hair on fire.

The thing with teenagers is that I think they can be unpredictable. Who knows what is going on inside their heads? Stereotypes define them as being disrespectful, uncaring, and emotional punks. Even the ones who haven't been in any real trouble or arrested often get the same distinction. Especially by me. I've noticed this more and more as my walks with Lucy take me by a highschool, often just as school is out. Along the sidewalk students linger, some waiting for the bus, some killing time until their parents' show up. They're usually laughing, sometimes together, sometimes at each other. Doesn't matter to me. Instantly, my guard goes up, as if preparing for war. What if one of these punks does something to Lucy? What if they start heckling me? What will my exit strategy be? I don't even look them in the eyes for fear they'll notice my quivering lip.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Is this really fear, or have I written off an entire generation because I don't understand them? I assume that they can't be trusted, that they're always only up to no good, that every single one of them would like to chance to set my hair on fire. The other day I was walking through the mall, and I had to pass through a group of teenage boys. I would say they were about 15 or 16 years old. My guard went up, and my first thought was, "These kids, so disrespectful. They're not even getting out of my way". As I continued walking, I heard one boy say to another something to the effect of, "What was that? You didn't see her?" In that moment, the Lord convicted me. I had written these boys off as punks. I didn't even consider the fact that maybe, just maybe, they hadn't seen me. I didn't even say, "Excuse me". I just barreled through, expecting them to get out of my way.

Currently, many different aspects in my life seem to be merging at one specific point: Love people. Loving is noticing. Loving is giving people a chance. Loving is not listening to stereotypes. Love is walking by a student and smiling at them. Maybe it's the only smile they got all day. How dare I just keep walking. I want to start looking at people in the eyes. How silly to be controlled by fear when I can be controlled by love.

1 John 4:18 (The Message)
God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we're free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ's. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.